Hotels in Oahu?

The Kahala is pricey, but they have everything you are asking for. Rooms are really beautiful and you can see their dolphins swimming in the lagoon from your bedroom window. They also have a kids program.

Sheraton is right on Waikiki Beach. Their pools has water slides. They have a day care run by Poppins (japanese franchise). They accept kids under 12.

If you don't mind being further away. Try Turtle Bay. Lovely pool with a kids slide, right on the beach. And they have a kids program called the Keiki Turtle Club. Not quite as expensive as the Kahala.

Outrigger Reef has fairly affordable rooms and is located right on the beach. They recently reopened after an extensive renovated. It's not quite as plush as the others, but we had a good time staying there. No day care or kids program though. However, they do have a few classes that are offered for free. You have to be with your kids though.

Our family really enjoyed staying at the Hilton Hawaiian Village.

I wrote a review of our stay. I'm not sure how to make a direct link from here, so here's the link from my address bar.
http://www.trekaroo.com/hotels/hilton-hawaiian-village-beach-resort-spa-honolulu-hawaii

Good luck.

We've been planning a trip out to Maui and asked the same question. Many of the hotels have kid programs like lei-making or hula lessons, but there's no drop-off component.

Here's a list of the hotels on the island that do have kid programs where you can drop the kids off and head out for a date with your husband. The Kaanapali Beach Hotel and the Westin are probably the most affordable ones on the list. If you check-out Redweek or Homeaway, you can find lots of Westin timeshare rentals available to rent. That way you get one of their condo/apt set-ups with full kitchens for a much more affordable price. We were able to find a 7 night stay in a 2 bedroom for $1600.

Westin Kaanapali
Kaanapali Beach Hotel
Park Hyatt
Grand Wailea
Ritz Carlton
Four Seasons

Hilton Hawaiian Village would be my suggestion for Oahu however, I don't believe they have a kids program anymore, but they do provide in room sitters.

I would however give strong consideration to a bed and breakfast on Maui. I realize this sounds really funny and doesn't offer a lot of what you are looking for, but I have found several really great, family friendly bed and breakfasts on Maui (you have to call around, they seem to go out of business and reopen before I can get posts completed). Now here is the kicker why I suggest giving this a try, when I have asked, the people at the bed and breakfast either had a teenage kid, they themselves, or knew of someone that would provide babysitting services so the parents could enjoy some time to themselves - I have also had friends say they have done the same. In addition, they were familiar with some of the locally offered services, such as half day camps at the local YMCA, a drop in hula class, and so on. All things that the kids would love to do, that were more "local" than a big hotel could offer, and offered the family atmosphere provided by bed and breakfasts not usually found at big resorts.

We deliver baby equipment to all the hotels on the island and I would say that there are a few that are way more kids friendly than others. My top picks would be Hilton Hawaiian Village, Ko Olina and Turtle Bay for the resorts. If you are looking for great discounts the Aqua resorts have good prices and most come with kitchens.